Tools, Tips, and Strategies for handling a meltdown

            Anger outbursts can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime, and for any reason. For most of us, it arises from a conflict between what we want or want to do and our present reality. When this conflict leads to aggressive behavior, it is called a tantrum.

When individuals with autism experience a meltdown it is usually due to sensory overload, difficulty communicating, feeling overwhelmed, changes in routines, or inability to complete a task.

It is crucial to understand that a meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. Just to be clear; a tantrum comes from not getting what one wants (manipulation). A meltdown comes from overstimulation or feeling overwhelmed.

Here are a few tips for preventing a meltdown:

·        Learn your child’s triggers and limit exposure to them (if he has a meltdown every time he’s in a big store like Walmart, he is probably experiencing sensory overload: lights, noise, crowds, odors, etc.)

·        Warn of upcoming changes, if possible (we used to tell our son “five minutes until…” so he could wrap up what he was doing as well as prepare his mind for a new activity)

·        Avoid situations that might cause sensory overload

·        Supply sensory helps: headphones, sunglasses, etc.

·        Encourage your child and offer praise, especially when they tackle a task that is difficult or causes stress.

Strategies for handling a meltdown:

·        Reassure your child. Let him/her know it’s going to be okay. Reassure him he’s not in trouble. Meltdowns are simply the body’s reaction to something that appears to be out of control.

·        Prevent child from hurting self or others

·        If possible, provide them with a ‘safe place’ where they can go to calm down (bed, bean-bag, special chair, etc)

·        Avoid yelling or raising your voice as that will only exacerbate the situation

·        Talk about it once your child has calmed down. Ask him what he was feeling and why. He might not always understand his reaction or why he acted as he did, but it’s worth discussing.

Tools to help de-escalate:

·        Cool-down Cue Cards

Print cards and keep them handy. I laminated mine, then punched a hole in the top left corner and placed them on a ring. Go through the cards with your child and show him ways he can cool down when he's anxious or upset.

Printable Cool-down Cue Cards

·        Create a calm-down kit: Create a basket with items such as the cool-down cue cards, silly putty, playdough, stress-ball, fruit gummies, fidget toys, blanket, weighted vest, headphones, etc.…. Make a label that reads “calm-down kit” and attach to front of basket.

·        Read books about anger and meltdowns. Here are a few of my favorites:

Ø When Sophie Gets Angry-Really, Really Angry…, by Molly Bang.

Ø The Way I Feel, by Janan Cain

Ø The Way I Act, by Steve Metzger and Janan Cain

Ø I Feel, by Cheri J. Meiners M.Ed. and Penny Weber

Ø Let’s Talk About Feeling Afraid, by Joy Berry

I trust these tips, strategies, and tools have been helpful to you.