Our Story

     Welcome to all my readers. I am thrilled to have you join me as I share a little bit of myself and my family and our wonderful God who has led and continues to lead us through this maze called autism. My prayer is that I will be able to provide encouragement and help to all of my readers, but especially to those of you who share the same struggles and challenges that autism brings to into our daily lives. If you are reading this blog, please know that I am praying for you.  I may not know your name, but God does. He knows your struggles, your disappointments, and your pain. And He cares.  

     First of all, I would like to introduce our family. I met my wonderful husband, Leonard, 20 years ago at the dental office where I worked. It was one of those instant connections when we both knew we'd met our soulmate.

     Four years into our marriage, our first son, Andrew, was born. At 6 lbs. 4 oz., he was a precious little bundle that his big, strong, daddy could hold in just one hand. He has filled our lives with joy and laughter.

     Two years later, twin brothers, Benjamin and Christopher, joined our family. I had to undergo an emergency C-section at 38 weeks of pregnancy because of complications. Christopher came first, then Benjamin who was born with a knot in his umbilical cord  which the perinatologist and the ultrasounds had never uncovered.
     As soon as the babies were cleaned up, they were placed in a small incubator and whisked off to the NICU.  I was quickly sedated because of high blood pressure and kept in Intensive Care for the first 24 hours. So it was a full day before I was able to see my baby boys for the first time.

      At just 4 lbs. 2 oz., Christopher slept in a bassinet. He had so many wires and tubes attached to him that it was a bit daunting to pick him up. Thankfully, he quickly gained weight and was released shortly after I went home. 

     Benjamin, a mere 2lbs, 12 oz., had to stay in an incubator for four long weeks; a small bundle of sweetness bringing us joy mingled with worry. Those were very difficult days, with emotions running high and low as we wondered whether he would make it or not. When I was finally discharged from the hospital I cried bitter tears, knowing I had to leave Benjamin behind. How could I leave this precious miracle I'd carried for nine months? 

     Every day, for four long weeks, Len would stop by the hospital on his way home from work to spend an hour with Benjamin. Then, as soon as he got home, I would get in the car and drive 45 minutes to my baby's bedside. I only had an hour with him each day and vividly remember crying all the way home.
      But God sent help. One nurse informed me that a volunteer grandmother came every day to hold Benjamin. She would rock him gently and sing to him. She told the nurse what a beautiful baby my son was. I have no idea who this woman was who held my child for hours when I couldn't care for him myself, but I'm forever grateful to her.

     And then there were the phone calls. Every time the phone rang at home, my heart was overcome with fear. Was the NICU calling to tell me there was a problem with my little boy? Relief flooded through me each time I realized it wasn't the NICU. Then one day they called. I thought the worst. But all they wanted was to notify us that visiting hours had been postponed because of a "situation" with one of the other babies. I sat down and cried tears of relief, mingled with tears of sadness for that mother who had possibly lost her newborn child.

     Benjamin finally came home at four weeks of age. As soon as we laid him next to his twin, Christopher reached out and touched him. I'll never forget the way Christopher smiled, as though he'd found his missing half. Now our world was right. So we thought.

     Benjamin seemed to be a very 'normal' baby, just a little slower as he learned to get around on his own. He would give us big smiles when we came into the twins' room, then hang onto the crib's rail and bounce up and down like a baby kangaroo. The twins slept in cribs joined together because they didn't like to be apart. Andrew was a mere twenty-two months older than his siblings, so we often felt like we were raising triplets instead of twins. Yes, Len and I were exhausted most of the time, but the good times are uppermost in our memories of those early days.

     God sent us another blessing during the twins' first two years in the form of Grandma Kay. She was an elderly woman from our church, who wanted nothing more than to help others. She would show up every weekday morning at nine a.m. sharp, ready to do whatever needed doing. Due to hip and back problems, she wasn't able to climb the stairs in our two-story home. So she would plop herself into our old, wooden rocker, open her arms to hold Benjamin, then rock him and feed him his bottle until Len got home from work at 5 p.m. Benjamin was a very fussy baby who didn't like to be put down. Without Grandma Kay, I don't know how I would have survived each day alone with three little ones. But with Benjamin content in her arms, I was able to care for the other two and keep my home in a somewhat acceptable state of order. Thank you, Grandma Kay. We owe so much to you!

     It wasn't until Benjamin was three years old that we really noticed a lag in his speech, his social skills and some sensory issues. Other people noticed it more than we did. We were too close to the problem to see it for what it was. I think we were also in denial. We didn't want to see the problems. We wanted to believe our son was like other children. But he wasn't. 

     We finally had to admit Benjamin needed help. We took him to a pediatrician who sent us to Mercy Children's Hospital in Kansas City. I'll never forget that day;
"Your child has Autism Spectrum Disorder," the specialist stated, bluntly.
Nothing could have prepared us for the brutal shock of hearing the word 'autism' in conjunction with our child. Our minds struggled to accept the finality of such a diagnosis. In one fell swoop, our hopes and dreams for our son were smashed into a thousand fragments. 
The physician proceeded to give us a long list of "nevers." Our son might never be able to care for himself, might never be able to attend a regular school, might never socialize properly, might never use his imagination. With every word, the knife cut deeper. I felt as though pieces of my heart were being carved out with a dull blade. 
That was the day the intruder called autism came to live in our home. That was also the defining moment I resolved to do everything in my power to help him live as normal a life as he could. I was not going to sit back and allow this intruder to hold him captive.

Autism; such a simple word for such a complex disorder. All sorts of questions run through a parent's mind. You wonder if your child will ever become independent enough to hold down a job and live on his own. And what about schooling? Will he ever go to college? 
We didn't and still don't have most of the answers to the usual questions parents have regarding their children's futures. But we do have the answer in regards to Who will watch over him and love him and guide his path into the future. For Benjamin has accepted Christ as his Savior and that means his Heavenly Father will watch over him and guide him every step of the way. He will never fail our son. 

     Benjamin has claimed the verse from Jeremiah 29:11. So have Len and I. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

     Benjamin still has special needs. Some weeks we struggle through each day, learning how to overcome meltdowns and acquire the necessary social skills to function in society. Some days it's just enough to make it through the day. Other times, we sail through the days with barely a bump here and there. But all in all, we are doing okay. 
Benjamin is doing well in a regular school and is mainstreamed most of the day. He has exceeded our expectations with a memory as sharp as a razor and creativity beyond our wildest imaginations. He loves to read, remembers most of what he reads, is learning how to create YouTube videos with Lego figures and has written a couple of stories. He has also won several awards and even had a poem published in the 2013 Young American Poetry Digest.He is able to care for his basic needs and can fix meals for himself. Never say 'never.'
Like all of us, he has his ups and downs, but we meet each challenge with prayer and the Word of God. He's memorized verses to help him overcome fear, anger, feelings of failure and social awkwardness. And through it all, we've all grown closer to our Heavenly Father. For He is the One who knows us best and can help us most.

     I hope this little window into our lives has helped you know us better.

God bless.