Learning to Change

To resist all form of change

 is to lock yourself in a self-made prison

and throw away the key.

Renée Vajko-Srch

           

            I’m one of those people who pays close attention to their car. I can hear and sense any differences in the way it drives. I make sure I bring it in to the mechanic every 3,000 miles for an oil change. Maybe that’s why it’s still running well with its odometer reading at 250,000 miles. That and a lot of prayer!

            When it comes to my own personal life, I am less receptive to change. I don’t like to change my clock every spring and fall. I don’t care for surprises in my carefully planned schedule nor like to modify my way of doing things. I confess, I like my rut. It’s safe, it’s predictable, reliable and doesn’t require any uncomfortable adjustments.

            Individuals with autism also struggle with change. It is one of the most common symptoms and is often met with a meltdown. There is a certain security in routines, repetition and predictability that individuals on the spectrum crave. My son Benjamin rises every day at 6 a.m. (even on the weekends), comes into our room to ask if he can play on the computer (a grumble from either side of our bed is considered a “yes”), then sets about the day with a tightly planned schedule. While he’s learning to be flexible (Mom can’t always have supper ready by 5 p.m.), he still prefers a heads-up if there is going to be a change of plans. This gives him time to readjust his thinking and his own personal time table. (just this morning he was asking me when we were going to spring-clean his room so he could plan the next two days accordingly – even though he’s on spring break and the job shouldn’t take more than an hour. I even had to provide him with a starting time and a stopping time – spontaneity died a long time agoJ ).

            I think most of us prefer situations that are familiar, our own personal comfort-zones where we know what to expect. When circumstances change or life events don’t turn out the way we want, we start to panic or look for a way out. Just look at our nation and how it’s responding to the changes Trump is trying to introduce. Reactions vary from disappointment and frustration to outright protests and even riots.

            One of the factors that has enabled Benjamin to learn a certain amount of flexibility is maintaining a stable environment. Our home life is steady and reliable, a shelter where he feels secure and the most important things to him don’t change (I’ve learned to check with him before I throw out anything that belongs to him – he remembers every single toy and every slip of paper that’s in his room – yeah, I know, it’s scary to think how much information is stashed in that brain of his).

            Some changes are good, others not so good. But in the midst of all the changes happening in our world, there is one who never changes; his name is Jesus. Psalm 18:2 says “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” (NLT). God provides stability in an uncertain world. When life seems to be falling apart and our plans have been tossed to the wind, there is one to whom we can turn, one who provides the peace and reassurance we need to face each day “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.” (Isaiah 26: 3-4, NLT).

            Maybe you are going through some changes that don’t feel comfortable and hurt more than you’d like. While you may not be able to avoid these changes, ask God to use them to stretch you and make you into a stronger and better person. A rubber band is only useful when it’s being stretched.

If God is stretching you, remember, He’s the one holding each end and He won’t stretch you further than you can endure. He’s right there, holding you and using you for his purpose.