Autism and change; 10 Strategies to help your child cope better with changes in routine

            Last week I addressed the issue of change in our lives. While some of us don’t care for changes in our routine, especially those that affect us negatively, many individuals with autism really struggle with any disruption in their schedule.

            In order to better understand this struggle, I’ve read several explanations written by individuals on the spectrum. One man explained it as “being the rope in a game of tug of war” because the schedule in his brain said one thing, but the unexpected disruption in his schedule told him another. He went on to state “change means that the brain can’t rely on the ‘programs’ it had been running before the change occurred.” Another person mentioned that “changes are difficult for an Aspie (short for Asperger’s’, a form of high-functioning autism) because it doesn’t follow the plan, it doesn’t match up, it doesn’t line up with the mental plan or train of thought.” A third individual described change as “you’re effectively re-writing my world.” (1)

            So how can parents help their children cope with changes? Here are a few suggestions.

1.    Create a steady home environment. Try to maintain a regular schedule at home and at school where the child feels safe and life is fairly predictable. Limit the amount of activities/appointments you schedule outside the home and focus instead on creating a steady environment inside the home, which will help him feel secure. You have to stabilize a boat before you send it out to sea. The same can be said of children on the spectrum.

2.    Create a visual timetable or schedule. With younger children, visual supports such as picture cards of daily activities (i.e.: brushing teeth, getting on the school bus) will help your child to know what to expect. For older children who can read, a simple schedule with times and activities should suffice. Adapt it each day as needed, inserting visual or written changes into the schedule. Address these changes at the beginning of the day so your child is prepared.

For big events such as birthday parties, holidays, celebrations, vacations, you can use a count-down calendar. Discuss with your child what might be expected and how they feel about it (i.e.: fears, expectations, etc..)

3.    Use timer or verbal warning to help transitions from one activity to the next. No one likes to be torn away from what they are doing. Offering your child a five to ten minute warning (i.e.: supper will be ready in five minutes) should reduce the likelihood of a meltdown. I like using a timer because it provides the child with a visual indication of the time that is elapsing.

4.    Reward positive response. If your child has responded well to changes in his daily routine, reward him. Praise him for his good coping skills and positive behavior. Rewards can be something as simple as allowing him to stay up five minutes longer that day, or earning five more minutes of TV time.

5.    Don’t linger or delay. If you need to run an errand after school, prepare your child beforehand. Then, once your errand is complete, don’t add other items to the day. For example, if you have to take your child to the dentist, don’t add on a trip to the shoe store or go out for pizza afterwards. In his mind, your child has ‘dentist’ scheduled and nothing else. Adding to the errand list is a sure way to stress him. He wants to get home so he can return to his ‘normally scheduled’ activities. For my son, he sees all after-school errands as time taken from his own personal schedule (i.e.: playing with his Legos, watching his favorite shows, etc.)

6.    Stay positive. Some errands can be extremely unpleasant. Nonetheless, it is very important to stay positive. Grumbling and complaining can add to your child’s stress and put him in a negative mood. Try to find a positive spin on whatever you have scheduled, even offering a reward at the end as incentive if your child is feeling anxious about it (i.e.: I always reward my children for good check-ups at the dentist. It makes the visit so much easier).

7.    Use social stories. Social stories are short stories that often include pictures and describe various situations people may encounter. They enable a child with autism to prepare for certain events (i.e.: what happens at the dentist) and also provides them with a framework upon which they can build their own unique experiences. You can find books of common social stories on line and at bookstores.

8.    Include items that speak of comfort and routine. The best example here is my son Benjamin. He loves Legos and always carries several Lego magazines with him when we leave the house. They offer him a tie with home and provide something familiar as well as a comfort zone (he can be carried into a world of Legos wherever he goes). Other items of comfort might be a favorite blanket, one or two special toys (be careful not to bring toys that come apart, or too many toys that might get lost or left behind as this is a sure recipe for a meltdown), favorite books or magazines, a special pillow…. Again, be sure to keep track of all items you bring!

9.    Visit new environment. If your child needs to change schools or doctor’s offices, it might be a good idea to visit the new place ahead of time (if possible). This can help alleviate some of his anxiety. If you can’t physically go to the new place, see if you can obtain some photos to give him some sense of recognition when he gets there.

10. Unpredictable or unexpected events. Life happens and kids need to learn that sometimes schedules change unexpectedly. Discuss the change as soon as possible with your child, preferably in a quiet place with limited distractions. Reassure him, stay positive, use distraction if he is growing anxious and provide him with a calming activity (i.e.: how many red cars can you find on the way to….?). Be sure to applaud him when he copes well.

Join the discussion: How do you cope with change? What helps or doesn’t help? Did this article clarify the issue? Was it helpful? Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, suggestions or personal experience in the comment box below.

(1)  www.quora.com/why-is-change-difficult-for-an-autistic-person