A MOTHER'S TOOLBOX (part two)

Tool number two: Wisdom

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1: 5

            Have you ever used a bubble level? It’s also called a spirit level or simply a level. In our house, we use it to install shelves, hang pictures or fix a wobbly table. Its purpose is to determine whether the object we wish to fix or fasten to the wall is horizontal or vertical. It prevents guests from having to tilt their heads to look at photos we’ve hung on our walls. All kidding aside, the level is a very useful tool if we want items to be straight.

            So it is in life. If I want my life to be in balance, I need to go to God in prayer and ask Him to grant me His wisdom to handle every situation that comes my way. I discovered a long time ago that I lack wisdom. I wasn’t born with it, I didn’t exactly gain wisdom in school and I often acted and spoke unwisely, causing me undue grief.

            As the years passed and God blessed us with three sons, I felt a tremendous need for wisdom and guidance in raising these boys. They each have their blessings and each one has his issues. Not an easy road to travel, let me tell you. That’s when I realized I needed to go to the One who created them, the One who knew them better than I could ever know them. For He searches their hearts and examines their minds (Jeremiah 17:10, NIV).

            In James 1:5, God promises to bestow wisdom on any who ask. No favorites, no conditions, no stingy hand- outs on His part. He not only grants us wisdom, he gives it generously to all.

            Asking God for wisdom is admitting that we don’t have all the answers. Sometimes we need another person’s counsel because we don’t know what to do in certain situations. After much prayer and asking for advice from professionals, God led us to a very wise and wonderful counselor for Benjamin. He has also provided a terrific case worker and a talented music therapist who are helping Benjamin overcome some of his autism-related issues. Without them, we would still be struggling. Proverbs 13:10 tells us “wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Listen to those God brings across your path. It might just be the hand of God, sending you wisdom through another person.

            Asking God for wisdom is not a one-time, one-size fits all deal. God doesn’t shower us with a large rainfall of wisdom. Often times, He doles it out as we need it. Many times I have found myself confronting the boys’ questions about serious issues going on in the world or in their personal lives. Sometimes I don’t have the answer. But if I pray, asking God to give me the right words, God will usually provide the words or bring to mind a verse I have memorized that applies to their particular situation.

            Just like the bubble level helps keep the belongings in our house in balance, so does God’s wisdom in our personal lives. If only we’d ask. Let’s pray that God will give us the wisdom:

·         To know when to speak and when to listen

·         To discern what might help and what might harm

·         To differentiate between our child’s wants and his/her needs

·         To discern what to share with our child and what to hold back

·         To perceive which issues we can handle and which ones need professional help

·         To know when to say “yes,” “no,” or “what do you think?”

·         To know the difference between mothering and smothering

·         To differentiate between the urgent and the important

·         When to hold on and when to let go

The wisdom of God helps us to act wisely, speak wisely, respond appropriately and shows a depth of character that shines forth. James 3:17 says “the wisdom that comes from heaven is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” Quite a call for Christians in today’s world, isn’t it? But thankfully it does not depend on our power, but on God’s work in our lives.

Autism affects every area of our lives; physically, emotionally and spiritually. It removes the ‘normal’ from our day-to-day reality and turns our world on end. As parents of children with special needs, we desperately need God’s wisdom in finding some sort of balance, so we don’t get sucked into a state of survival; be it in finding those people who can help our children overcome autism, in finding respite care or even in discovering better ways to parent our child.

The wisdom that comes from above is free for the asking. It’s a gift we don’t want to neglect. After all, it just might restore some balance to our topsy-turvy lives.