Boundaries
Have
you no respect for me?
Why
don’t you tremble in my presence?
I,
the LORD, define the ocean’s sandy shoreline
as
an everlasting boundary that the waters cannot cross.
The
waves may toss and roar,
but
they can never pass the boundaries I set.
Jeremiah
5:22 (NLT)
Many people never set boundaries. Some object to them and
many rebel against them altogether. I think about the recent floods in Texas and Florida, how the
hurricanes pushed the waters beyond their boundaries and brought death and
disaster to hundreds of people. I think about the "Me Too" movement and all the innocent women who were harmed by men who never learned - or were not taught - appropriate sexual boundaries.
Most teenagers seem to push against boundaries, whether
at home or at school. They want to test the established lines of conduct to
assert their own individuality, voice their own opinions and establish an
identity independent from their parents. Yet so many don’t realize those
boundaries are there to keep them safe and to encourage their growth in a
proper and healthy manner.
I am currently reading a book Boundaries with Teens, by Dr. John Townsend. If you are raising teenagers,
I would highly encourage you to read this book. Dr. Townsend compares
boundaries to stakes that help young saplings grow into healthy trees that, in
time, produce good fruit.
“Boundaries
function somewhat like the trunk of a tree. The trunk holds the leaves, fruit,
and roots together. However, all trees with strong trunks started out as weak
saplings They needed to be tied to a stake because they couldn’t yet handle
their own weight. They needed to lean on and be supported by something outside
themselves. Then, in time, the trees matured and took over that job for
themselves.”[i]
Likewise, God has set boundaries for his children. He is
a good father, caring enough about his children to set limits that keep us safe
and help us grow into mature Christians. This morning, as I half-listened to
one of my three teenage sons grumble and object about going to school, I was
mindful of my own tendencies to complain when life isn’t going quite the way I
wish. Whether I protest the direction God is taking me or I question his ways,
I find myself acting like a petulant teenager, grumbling and fussing with plenty
of gusto.
Not
that I can’t verbalize my feelings to God. He knows my thoughts and state of
mind anyway. Yet he does not take pleasure in my rebellious attitude or sour
disposition. He wants me to trust him and submit to his guidance, for his
wisdom far surpasses my own.
I am extremely grateful God is so patient with me. Rather
than slapping me upside the head, he gently guides and corrects me till I eventually
realize his ways are so much better than my own. I am thankful that he sets
boundaries, not only to protect me against my foolish thoughts and tendencies, but against
the evil so rampant in our world. He will not allow the evil one to touch me
unless it’s his will. He will not suffer harm to come my way, unless he permits
it.
Boundaries are a necessary part of life. Whether I like
them or not, they are there to protect me against myself and against the evil
that seeks to cause me harm. Boundaries not only serve to stop me from stepping
out of bounds, but also to keep away the evil that so easily entangles.
Hopefully my three teenage sons will one day realize that
Mom and Dad’s boundaries were necessary and beneficial. I pray they will grow
up to become good and godly men who will establish their own appropriate
boundaries for themselves and their families. But until then, I will strive to
respect the boundaries God has set for me and be an example to my three sons of
a life lived in obedience to God’s word.
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