Unconditional Love
When we think of love,
we usually think of roses and valentines. Yet love is so much more than an
emotion. Love is a verb, an action on the part of a person who consciously chooses
to invest in someone else’s life and being.
Unconditional love takes love one step further. It commits to
caring for another being and expecting nothing in return. It is a love that
doesn’t count the cost, but is poured out without thought of reward.
I am currently reading a book by Ron Fournier entitled “Love That
Boy.” In his book, Ron Fournier discusses the challenges of raising a son with
Asperger’s Syndrome. He recognizes that our society is geared towards success
and popularity. Parents raise children as little clones of themselves, urging
their offspring to be exceptional be it scholastically or in sports, art or
music. After all, no one would want to raise an average child, right?
Ron Fournier quotes New York
Times columnist David Brooks, stating “an epidemic of conditional love” is
shaping parenting in the 21st century. Ron also says “children are
not just family for many parents, they’re an accomplishment. They’re trophies.”
I couldn’t agree more. From the moment we find out we’re
expecting, we begin to build up expectations and plan our children’s futures.
We want them to succeed and to stand out from the crowd. Not that there’s
anything wrong with wanting the best for our kids. But at what price?
As parents of special needs children, we understand that we need
to get rid of expectations and accept our kids just as they are. We would do
well to practice the same acceptance with our children who don’t have special
needs. Our kids don’t need trophies and diplomas covering their walls as much as they need unconditional love from their parents. They need to grow up
knowing that, whether they fail or they succeed, Mom and Dad will be proud of
them.
After all, it’s not what we do that counts as much as who we are
and whose we are. God loves us unconditionally. Saint or sinner, rich or poor,
God died to save each one of us, not because of any merit on our part, but
because of His grace and His great love (Titus 3:5).
As Christ loved us, so ought we to love our children. Fully,
unconditionally, through the laughter and the tears, through the joy and the
pain, through success and failure, and through all that life brings our way.
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