A Silent Night: Tips for a Quiet Christmas with a Child on the Autism Spectrum

           

Bright, blinking lights. Large crowds. Loud music. Jolly Santas in lively red suits. Colorfully wrapped presents. Unusual foods. Noisy parties. All the makings for a very merry Christmas, right?

            Individuals with autism often find Christmas a very stressful time of year. Not because of the holiday itself, but because of all the hubbub which goes along with it. So, how can you celebrate the season while cutting down on all the sensory-induced meltdowns?

1.    Avoid stores and malls.

       This year, I did most of my shopping online. The noise, the lights, the loud music, the crowds and long lines… even I can’t stand all the visual and auditory stimuli that plague shoppers as soon as they step through the doors. If you absolutely must take your child with you, look for special autism shopping days sponsored by Toys R Us and Target. They provide quiet shopping hours for families with children on the spectrum. Many other stores are jumping on board; check your local retailers or check online for stores in your area which offer quiet shopping. Easter Seals also offer sitting services for families with children on the spectrum, so Mom and Dad can do some Christmas shopping alone. Check with your local autism support services to find out if they offer such assistance.

2.    Decorate with care

     Avoid those colorful lights that blink on and off. Rather, choose dim white lights that stay on. Shy away from trinkets with lots of glitter, ornaments that make sounds, bright baubles, and fragile decorations.

3.    Select music carefully

     Some Christmas music can send even teachers and parents up the wall. Select calming, soothing music which will help relax your child. Instrumental music such as Pachelbel’s Canon in d major help create a calm atmosphere for both parent and child. You might want to check out You Tube's 3 hours of Christmas Music/Traditional Instrumental Christmas Songs Playlist/Piano & Orchestra.

4.    Family gatherings

     This is one of the most challenging Christmas traditions for families with a child on the autism spectrum. Remember Aunt Agatha who always wants to wrap you in a big hug and squeeze your cheeks? She might not appreciate it when your child starts screaming because she hugged him. Inform family members that your child has sensory issues and explain some of the dos and don’ts (i.e.: hugging, kissing, and speaking loudly…). It can feel a bit awkward telling your family what they should or shouldn’t do around your child, but if you want to survive the gathering, you really need to. This will minimize meltdowns which are far more embarrassing and stressful than sharing your child’s issues with your family ahead of time.

     Bring a favorite blanket with you, and create a safe space at your relative’s house where your child can retreat and rest if he or she is feeling overly stressed.

     Don’t force them to eat foods they don’t like. Christmas dinner is not the place or time to attempt to get your child to try new foods. Even if they only have a couple of items on their plate, it’s not worth fretting over; they can eat a snack when they get home.

5.    Christmas wish lists

     If your child is like mine, he will write a very detailed list of items he wants for Christmas. Go through the list with your child ahead of time. Pull them up on the internet if need be, to be certain that you are both thinking of the same items. Children with autism tend to think that if they draw up a list, that they will receive every single one of the toys they wrote down. Have them mark which ones they want the most, then explain that you (or Santa) might not be able to give them all of the items on the list, so they won’t be disappointed when Christmas morning comes around.

     If you have tips or ideas you would like to share, please comment below. I’d love to hear what you’ve found helpful for creating a quiet and happy Christmas with your child.