Teaching Children the Art of Kindness

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

Desmond Tutu

          He’s the little boy sitting alone at the lunch table because no one wants to be seen with the kid who’s ‘different.’ She’s the girl who stays silent because the other kids make fun of her speech impediment. He’s the boy who plays all by himself at recess because he’s ‘not one of us.’

          Kindness; a virtue that is far too scarce in our busy and egocentric society. Our children are growing up in a culture that trends towards egotism and promotion of self even at the risk of hurting others. Where has moral excellence gone when simple acts of kindness that would have been considered ordinary twenty years ago make it to the evening news?

          Society also cautions our kids to trust no one and be wary of everyone. Now I’m the first to admit we are living in an era that is unsafe. It is crucial that we explain stranger danger and vigilance to our kids. But have we swung too far the other way? Have thoughtfulness and consideration become so obsolete that we can’t even help a stranger who is hurt simply because their skin color is not the same as ours?

Kindness. I believe some individuals are born with the gift of kindness. It comes as naturally to them as breathing in and breathing out. They see a need and immediately respond. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I think many of us tend to get so caught up in the business of living that we fail to notice some of those opportunities, be they great or small.

I am not referring to basic courtesy, which I hope most of us possess to a certain degree. I am addressing the issue of kindness as an act that is deliberate and intentional. Going out of our way to bake a dish for someone who is sick or grieving. Helping a mother who has just come home from the hospital with a new baby and has four other kids at home. Mowing the lawn for the elderly man who is recuperating from a stroke. Paying for someone’s groceries because they are in need.

The art of kindness requires intentional teaching and guidance. It is a deliberate and thoughtful effort on the part of parents and educators to awaken in each child the awareness of the needs around them and the impact they can have on others through their words and actions.

As parents, this task falls primarily to us. Certainly other family members as well as educators can and should play a part in teaching kindness to our children. But parents bear the biggest responsibility in training their children to be thoughtful, generous and caring individuals.

So, how do we tackle such a daunting task?

1.     Through example

Parents who model kindness in front of their children are more likely to raise kids who, in turn, will reach out to help others. If actions speak louder than words, then it won’t take much for our children to imitate our behavior. Let’s ask ourselves what sort of activities will teach and encourage our children to share, give and help others? Then do it with them so they can see and participate in these acts of kindness.

2.     Awaken their awareness

Listen. Watch. Discuss what you see and hear. It might be at home, at church, at school, in your place of employment. It could be a report on the news. There are so many people hurting in our world, some close by, others far away. Talk with your children and awaken their awareness of those needs, be they close to home or in a land far away. Then act on it. Bring someone a meal, visit the shut-ins, spend an afternoon in a nursing home, fund an orphan overseas, send a care package or a simple card to a missionary family or someone in the armed forces… The more you draw attention to the needs, the more your eyes will be opened and opportunities will present themselves.

3.     Put it in practice

·        Through words

·        Through attitudes

·        Through actions

Make acts of kindness a daily habit, be it individually or as a family. At the end of each day, ask your child “how did you show kindness today?” Draw up a list of activities you can do as a family (there are some great ideas on pinterest.com) then write them into your schedule so you don’t forget. And make every effort to be kind to one another within the home.

John Wesley once said “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

This is how you teach your children the art of kindness.